I had no choice any longer. I was down to one bra that fit without hurting. I just can’t keep these suckers contained anymore! Off I went…to the lingerie department. Looking around to make sure no one I knew was in sight, I made my way over to the super ultra large cup section. The kind of bras you might remember hanging in your grandmother’s shower. I was horrified.

I was even more horrified when one of them fit. It was gloriously comfortable, and I had to purchase it. Then, of course, I chose the line where the lady in front of me took FOREVER to check out. No lie – six people managed to get through the line next to me while I was standing there with this hideously large bra in my hand, waiting for this woman to finish her transaction. For the love of all that is holy, just let me get through this line!!!

When it was finally my turn, the lady lets my ginormously, shamefully huge bra sit on the counter while she has me scratch off a discount ticket, scans my credit card, checks the signature…basically for an eternity. And the person in line behind me was a man. I have never walked out of a store so quickly as I did when she was done helping me check out!

Then I remembered – they’ll only get bigger!!! I think I’ll be purchasing my future bras online.

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