Be Enough Me: Looking in the Mirror

This week’s Just.Be.Enough Be Enough Me prompt was, “When I look in the mirror…”


This weekend, we celebrated my son’s 1st birthday.  I hated most of the pictures of myself from that day.  I saw the extra pounds around my waist that I’ve been struggling to get rid of for exactly one year now.  I saw the bags under my eyes from my recent insomnia.  I saw the anxiety in my eyes, something that I’ve really been struggling with as we’re now a month away from moving out of state.

I looked at myself and didn’t like what I saw.  The negative thoughts starting running through my head, “You should have exercised even harder”; “You should sleep better”; “You should be calmer”; “You should be better.”  It’s a constant battle between my PPD/PPA and learning to love, appreciate and accept the woman I am and the woman I am trying to become.

But I am learning.  I am learning to change the way I think.  I am learning to combat those negative “should” statements with positive reassurances.  ”You’ve exercised hard this year – you even completed a 5k!”  ”You’ve been doing great at getting to bed earlier.”  ”You’re doing well learning relaxation techniques.”  ”You are a good mom.  C loves you.”

I’m learning to look in the mirror and see me.

Comments

  1. Good for you for talking about what enters your head and what you say back to combat those negative thoughts. Proud of you, beautiful mama!

  2. Congrats on the 5k!
    Your words about learning to love, appreciate & accept the woman you are & trying to become… really hit me. I am constantly struggling with this.
    So proud of you for replacing negative thoughts with positive ones! :)

  3. My son is almost a year, and I haven’t lost a kilo….I do spiral down about it sometimes, but I always say “I gave birth to a beautiful son who doesn’t even care if I’m big, all he wants is a mommy”…that keeps me going. I love your blog mamma.

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