Things I’m Afraid to Tell You: 10 Things About Pregnancy and Early Motherhood

Today, I’m joining the Things I’m Afraid To Tell You linkup!  Thank you to Jess Constable, who came up with this idea, as well as Ez of Creature Comforts, who turned it into a movement.  Here is a Huffington Post article on this topic by Laura Rossi.  If you’d like to link up with a post, you may do so with the linky at the bottom of this post!

Image Credit: Ez of Creature Comforts

There are certain things about pregnancy and early motherhood that no one speaks about. Perhaps women keep these details from each other in the interest of keeping the human race alive.  It’s quite possible.

But I, on the other hand, have always believed in complete honesty.  During my pregnancy with C, there were some horrendously truthful posts here.  Today I’m going to share with you my top 10 list of things I’m afraid to tell you about pregnancy and early motherhood.  I’m afraid to tell you, but I’m going to anyway.  Hopefully you won’t swear off parenthood by the time you’re done.

1. Your bladder will never be the same.  Sneeze suddenly?  Laugh too hard?  You better have an extra pair of underwear ready.

2. Stretch marks don’t discriminate.  You can slather as much cocoa butter on that bump as you want, but if you’re genetically predisposed to getting stretch marks you’re going to end up with them no matter what you do.  Oh, and you may not only get them on your belly, sweetheart.  You might find those tiger stripes on your butt, thighs, breasts, calves or arms.

3. Your body shape may change.  Even if you lose all of your pregnancy weight, you might find that your hips are still wider than they used to be or your cup size has changed.

4. Your breasts will never be as perky as they used to be.  Unless you have the genes of a Greek goddess, you’ll perpetually look different naked.  You’re gonna need to strap the girls in a supportive pushup bra (perhaps with padding, if you’re victim to #3) to get the quality of cleavage that you once had.

5. If you end up with a c-section, you may always have a pooch of skin/belly fat between your belly button and incision.  Often, even the most dedicated dieter and fitness guru cannot rid herself of the pooch.  So long, bikini body.  But hey – you created a human, so it’s all good.

6. After giving birth, you’ll still look like you’re about 5 months pregnant.  Your uterus is stretched out and takes weeks to shrink back to its original size.  Which leads to number 7…

7. You’ll still need your maternity clothes for a while post-delivery.  It’s a little devastating finally birthing your child and not being able to squeeze your postpartum ass into your pre-pregnancy jeans.  Take heart in knowing that every mom has been there. ;)

8. That sweet little newborn that slept all the time will soon be up at all hours of the night.  Our pediatrician likes to say that babies “wake up” at around two weeks of age. They start to cry a lot, and new parents suddenly wonder what’s wrong.  Day/night confusion is very common.  Be prepared to run on painfully little sleep!

9. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows.  We live on a college campus, and sometimes when students were like, “Ooooh, I want one,” I wanted to invite them over at 3am when our son was awake, for the fourth time, crying.  Yes, babies are amazingly adorable; but they are also an enormous amount of work.  They poop.  A lot.  They cry.  A lot.

10. As soon as you think you’ve figured everything out, they’ll change things up on you.  Just when you’ve mastered a sleep routine, your baby will start teething and be thrown from their schedule.  When you begin to get confident, they’ll become mobile and suddenly it’s a whole new game.  Parenting keeps you on your toes!

Okay, so are you still planning on becoming a parent someday?  Don’t let this list scare you!  I want you to be prepared, but I will also say this.  Parenting is pretty much the coolest experience a person could ever have.  Experiencing that amazing love and bond with your child is amazing.  It’s the most difficult thing you’ll ever do, but the good far outweighs the bad.  It has to or no one would do it, right? ;)

 


Comments

  1. Robin | Farewell Stranger says:

    THIS is what they should tell girls in sex ed classes. It’s all true and I HAD NO IDEA.

  2. Number 10 took me 3 years to figure out. I thought it was just me. I thought I was incompetent. I mean, who parents for three years and is STILL clueless???! It’s so freeing knowing that it’s not me – it’s her. She keeps changing and it become on-the-job-training all over again.

  3. A'Driane says:

    LOVE this, and your sense of humor. I wish I had known these things instead of finding out the hard-and humorous-way.

  4. Thanks for your comment on my post! These were all SO TRUE. I gave birth to my son over two years ago now, and still haven’t lost all the weight. Boo. And I was tiny before, thought I would just be one of those moms that looks fabulous weeks after birthing a human (who are those moms? where are they?).

    Its funny about the stretch marks things too. My friend, who’s also a mom and I were at the pool the other day. And she looked fabulous, curvy but rocking a super cute bikini. I couldn’t help but notice considering how self conscious I feel in my suit. And I was shocked, shocked to see she had NO stretch marks! I was like, what?! And we are a similar build, and gained the same amount of weight (lots) but somehow her skin looked fabulous. And don’t tell me that BS about cocoa butter, I used it everyday people….

    Shannon

  5. Yep, this should be a required required reading for girls ages 12 and up.

  6. haha, this is great! Is it weird that I didn’t get any stretch marks on my belly but my boobs are covered & they remind me of chicken cutlets now! Blaaa! And kids are exhausting huh?! :)

  7. Oh yes, this! I’ve had two children naturally and yes, it’s not the same down there. It never will be. And I know my body is not the same and never will be – and it’s okay. I’ve got two gorgeous boys to show for it!

    Also with newborns, I’ve got one. You think you know better with the second one, but you know less than you think :)

  8. I wish someone had been real with me and told me all this. Still wishing for that Csection pooch to magically disappear. : – )

  9. Absolutely the truth. I was so unprepared for the body changes with my first baby–TOTALLY packed my pre-pregnancy jeans in my “going home” bag…that worked out well. ;) And I didn’t have a c/s, but the momma pouch is here to stay!

  10. Your CALVES!? Kristin! That sounds absolutely horrible! Seriously? Calves?

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