It’s Time to Let Go of the Fear

On Biloxi, MS beach

My whole life was ahead of me in 2008. I owe it to her to let go of my fears and really live to my fullest potential.

There’s something that I am afraid of. I’m not talking about roller coasters or spiders (*flails wildly*), I’m talking about failure.

I am afraid that I will fail at the biggest thing I want to do for myself: losing weight.

I haven’t been comfortable with my body weight since college and, if I’m going to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really comfortable with it then either. That discomfort was due to adolescence and body image insecurities, but it was there. Seven years, two kids, and two rounds of postpartum mood disorders later, I’m confident in what my body can do. It is stronger than I thought possible, determined to a fault. I should love it unconditionally for that and worry less about the imperfections.

Insecurities plague me as I enter my upper-20s. My body has endured PCOS, two pregnancies, two cesareans and a medication-caused weight gain. I don’t have this elusive “body confidence” that people say we should model for our children. But I want it.

I want to model body confidence and healthy body image to my children. I have one child who eats differently and will most likely be smaller than his peers. I have another child who appears to be built just like me, so I know the insecurities that she will likely face.

So what is stopping me from reaching my goal? Twice it was pregnancies. The third time it was Zoloft. Now there is nothing but fear in my way. I find myself stricken with the fear that I will try my hardest and will fail. What choice do I have but to try? After all, not trying guarantees failure.

I need to make myself a priority even though I’m responsible for so many other things.

I need to find a way to push past the fear.

I need to get out of my own head and just go for it.

What methods do you use to push past your fears?

Comments

  1. You are a super strong woman. I promise you this. I really admire your strength watching you go through what all you need to do every day for your babies. Failure is certainly scary. But I believe if anyone can do it, its you.
    Megan recently posted…Sautéed Kale Pasta!My Profile

  2. You are strong! Failure? Ugh, I fail every single week. And no lie, whenever I arrange my schedule/plan to make sure I work out/eat right, I wake up with a debilitating headache (that’d be today!) So, what can you do? Here’s what I do: Don’t think of it as ‘failure’, think of it as a step in learning to overcome this. It’s worked for me for a major problem in my life – but it took time and lots of self-patience and attentiveness to my negative mindset. Same applies here! And that issue? I conquered it! Good luck, you can do this!
    Gina B recently posted…Frozen Apps, Books & Dolls to Bring Sisters CloserMy Profile

  3. Kristin, we all fail. Oftentimes, it’s not our failure that defines us, but how we react to it. It takes a strong woman to admit her fears so publicly. I believe in you! I also believe you might benefit from Health is in your Hands. It’s a health coach that you can carry with you in your purse. It helps you Eat, Move, Pause & Succeed, based on my own experiences with losing 100 pounds. If you’re interested, sign up at http://www.weightlesschronicles.com/go/lose5now/ I wish you best of health, no matter what you decide!

  4. I am there with ya. Fear is a natural part of life, it happens, like poop! We are not defined by our failures, but by the fact we were willing to try in the first place!
    Jody recently posted…Wellness Management & Recovery ConferenceMy Profile

  5. You have this Kristin you are already STRONGER than you know. When I feel that fear coming up I push it back and remind myself that I will never know if I can unless I try which is the same thing I always tell my kids.

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