I know that I spend too much time thinking about the future. I just can’t help but wonder what the future holds for my special needs son.
When C has difficulty listening to directions, I wonder how things will go for him in school. Language and auditory processing is difficult for him with his sensory processing disorder. I wonder how he will handle the pace of a classroom. What extracurricular activities will he be involved in? Will he be able to keep up with directions? Will he process language and turn it into a motor plan quickly enough to participate in his favorite sports? I pray that he won’t be bullied for being slower with processing. The thought of it alone shatters my heart into a million pieces.
Will C be able to eat meals with his peers? I never realized how eating is such an integral part of our social lives. We get together for lunch or dinner, grill out at parties, and pass out cake to celebrate birthdays. If my son isn’t able to participate in any of that, what will his social life look like?
How long will he have his g-tube? I know that he will need to sustain himself orally for a year before we can remove the gtube button. Will he ever get it out? If so, will he end up with a large scar? Will he be embarrassed by his scar?
I end up in a flurry of stress as my mind jumps from one thought to the next. Meanwhile, there’s this sweet three-year-old boy running away from me for the eighteenth time as I tell him it’s time for his tube feeding. I try to hard to live in the present. Take each feeding, therapy session and battle one at a time. As soon as my mind wanders, I crumble; it is all so much sometimes.
When it comes to your special needs child, what do you worry about most? How do you stay in the present?