It Happened Two Years Ago

Hospital Day 4

I’m sitting here in silence after my children are in bed and it hit me: it happened two years ago. Two years ago, I called the doctor and the pediatric GI because C stopped eating and drinking. He was lethargic. We were told to get him to Children’s Hospital. I rushed around, packing and making arrangements for 3-month-old Baby Jo.

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Coming Up for Air {Part Three}

This is the final post in a three-part series about reaching the point in C’s diagnosis and early intervention in which I am finally coming up for air. Here are links to the first and second posts.

Coming Up for Air {Part Three}

When C was diagnosed with autism, I went through a grieving process and the instant overwhelm of next steps.

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Coming Up for Air {Part Two}

This is the second post in a three-part series about reaching the point in C’s diagnosis and early intervention in which I am finally coming up for air. Read the first post here.

C and Baby Jo Thanksgiving 2013

When he aged out of Birth to Three, he finally started receiving good help from an Occupational Therapist and Speech Therapist for his Sensory Processing Disorder. We spent so much time with them and he made a lot of progress. He was hospitalized again that summer for an inpatient video EEG and an MRI. We thought he was experiencing absent seizures. We discovered abnormal brain activity that put him at high risk for seizures, but he did not have epilepsy.

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Coming Up for Air {Part One}

Today begins a three-part series about reaching the point in C’s diagnosis and early intervention in which I am finally coming up for air. 

Baby C, Hubster and me

Deep in my heart, I always knew there was something going on with C. Babies can be difficult, but it just didn’t seem right for mine to spend most of his days and nights crying. It didn’t seem right that he would graze on a bottle throughout the day, never appear comfortable, and constantly need to be held. I think back to that time and it hurts to think about how I stifled the nagging feeling that something was wrong. The doctors told me he was okay and they must have known more than I, as a first-time mom, did.

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Much Needed Cuddles

Much Needed Cuddles with C

Every morning, I struggle to keep C on task in order to get him out the door and to the center (for autism therapy) on time. I could tell you that this is a challenge, but that word does not quite give justice to what I face each morning. It wouldn’t describe the days I chase him around the apartment, trying to lasso a shirt over a moving target. You wouldn’t know about the times I get hit and kicked while trying to administer a tube feeding. You certainly wouldn’t expect the morning we had yesterday, when I asked him to dress himself after learning that he has been working on it at therapy and is now capable of doing so. Over an hour of crying, screaming, writhing on the floor and yelling ended in Hubster helping C to get dressed just so we could get out of the apartment on time.

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Rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Mama and C 6 months

I remember spending hours in our rocking chair, rocking baby C to sleep and holding him while he slept. He rarely fell asleep without being rocked and rarely stayed asleep without being held. We spent mornings, afternoons and nights in that chair together. I rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I memorized his sweet face. The curve of his cheek. The movement of his eyelids. The purse of his lips.

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