Rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Mama and C 6 months

I remember spending hours in our rocking chair, rocking baby C to sleep and holding him while he slept. He rarely fell asleep without being rocked and rarely stayed asleep without being held. We spent mornings, afternoons and nights in that chair together. I rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I memorized his sweet face. The curve of his cheek. The movement of his eyelids. The purse of his lips.

Continue Reading...

I love and hate early intervention.

Giving C a hug

C will begin center-based ABA therapy for autism on June 1st. We chose center-based early intervention primarily based on the recommendations of the team that provided the diagnosis. He needs that social interaction to help him grow in the areas he struggles most. While in-home early intervention is an excellent choice for many families, I also felt that it wouldn’t be a good fit with our small apartment and the difficulty I would have separating Baby Jo and C during therapy sessions. We are very happy with the center, C loves it and we’re all excited for therapy to begin. But…I’m finding myself sulking about the whole situation.

Continue Reading...

Things That Hurt

Things that hurt

C was diagnosed with autism over a month ago now. Although we expected the diagnosis, it was difficult to process. I have had time to process it and am doing well now. We know where he will get intensive ABA therapy and are in the process of getting that started. There is a plan in place. Even though I am doing well with this new status as an autism parent, I still find myself sensitive to certain things.

Continue Reading...

On life pushing forward when you need to hit the pause button.

After posting about C’s new autism diagnosis, I stepped back from this space not knowing what to say next. I wallowed yesterday. I didn’t shower until the afternoon. I skipped my scheduled run for half marathon training. I stayed home from my weekly church growth group in favor of fuzzy socks and Chinese food takeout.

Continue Reading...


C was diagnosed with autism

They say most people know a family who has been touched with autism. If you didn’t before, you do now. We are that family.

C was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Under the old DSM IV, he would have been classified under Asperger’s or high functioning. He is severe in areas of rigidity (fixations and needing things to be his way) and social interaction. It was suggested that a center-based intensive therapy might be best for him so that he is around peers instead of one-on-one with an adult. The Early Start Denver Model was suggested as best for him as a developmental approach. Now comes more work on my part to speak with insurance, interview clinics and find the best fit for his needs.

Continue Reading...

On the Threshold of Change

Do you ever feel like things are about to change in a big way? Like something big is about to happen and life will never be quite the same again? I felt this way before my wedding day. There was a similar feeling when I went to the hospital in labor with C, and when those two lines appeared and we discovered we would have Baby Jo. Our family is on the threshold of change and it is making me anxious.

Continue Reading...