That is a STRANGE blog post title, you say? Well yes, it is.
Today I ask you what struck you as odd once you were no longer pregnant? For me, the strangest thing was going into the OBGYN office without a bag containing my first-morning urine. :-)
All of the pregnancy books tell you to come up with a birth plan so that you know exactly what you want to do when the time comes.
I’ll admit, the thought of a birth plan was a little daunting to me. This was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to expect from a labor and delivery experience. I was afraid to plan it all out because that meant I had to really think about it ahead of time. My doctor asked me about it during one of my late third trimester appointments. When I said I didn’t really have one, but I knew I wanted an epidural, she just chuckled and said it was probably a good thing. The people who come in with a three-page birth plan, for example, are often disappointed because things never seem to go exactly as planned.
I went in knowing that I wanted an epidural and a vaginal delivery. That was the extent of my birth plan, and I thought of it as very relaxed and “go-with-the-flow.” Hubster can attest to my laid-back approach – I even allowed him to watch the NFL draft on ESPN while I was in labor! 
As it turns out, I was not quite as “go-with-the-flow” about everything as I thought.
After 16 hours of laboring in the hospital (preceded by 3 days of early labor at home) and 1.5 hours of pushing, the on-call OBGYN broke the news that I would require a cesarean delivery. I immediately burst into tears. I had only wanted two things out of my birth experience, and a c-section was NOT one of them. I thought about the surgery, the longer recovery time, the fact that I would need c-sections with any future deliveries. I felt like I had failed by not being able to deliver my son vaginally. I had pushed for 1.5 hours, to no avail. Why couldn’t I do it? It was devastating.
Nearly three weeks later, I have the gift of hindsight. In retrospect, my c-section was not a terrible thing. Our little C is here, and he is perfect. My incision is healing very well. Even though I went through surgery, I have TONS more energy than I had at the end of my pregnancy. I was worried about losing weight because I would be less active, but I’ve lost all but 6 pounds of my baby weight already. Yes, I have a long way to go before my incision and abdominal muscles totally heal. Yes, I will need to have a cesarean with my future kids; but on the bright side, I will never need to experience a painful labor again.
While I have been reflecting on this topic myself, I also feel there are additional reasons to blog about it. I have a few friends and family members who are expecting and will be thinking about their birth plans soon. I’ve also seen birth plans mentioned by several people I follow on Twitter. Even though I was pretty laid back about my birth plan, I still was devastated when things didn’t go as I had hoped. I really want to encourage women to go in with a plan of what they would prefer to happen, but to also be open to the very realistic possibility that events could happen that will change that plan. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have failed their baby or themselves because things didn’t go as planned.
If you don’t want drugs, but find you need them – you are NOT a failure. Labor and delivery HURTS. It’s okay to need medication to be more comfortable.
If you need pitocin to move things along – you are NOT a failure.
If your doctor needs to use forceps or a vacuum to assist in your delivery – you are NOT a failure. Your doctor does this all the time and feels that it’s best for your baby to get out faster with assistance.
If you need to have a cesarean – you are NOT a failure.
Events occur during pregnancy, labor and delivery that you may or may not anticipate, but that’s okay. You are giving LIFE, and that is an amazing thing. How your baby arrives here does not matter a day, a week, or a year later. You’ve carried, nourished and given life to a little person. That’s all that is important in the end.
I’ve never been a patient person. Waiting for labor is driving me completely insane. I am now convinced (illogically, I admit) that Baby C is NEVER. COMING. OUT. Good thing I didn’t get my hopes up yesterday when they told me I was probably dilating and labor would come soon…I had my appointment today and there was absolutely no change. I’m still at 2.5cm. His head is as low as it can get, so it’s no surprise that I feel like I’m holding a bowling ball in between my legs.
I’m frustrated that my due date has always been incorrect. Had it been correct, I would already be at 40 weeks and we could talk about an induction next week. Instead, I’ll technically be 42 weeks before they’ll entertain the idea of an induction. Stupid PCOS and irregular periods.
I’m frustrated that all my cramping and contractions are getting me nowhere.
I’m frustrated that my doctor told me 4 weeks ago that I would be early.
I’m frustrated that I’m too exhausted and in pain to want to do anything to make the time pass more quickly.
I’m frustrated that I see people with due dates AFTER mine having their babies before me.
I’m frustrated at the following question: “No baby yet?” REALLY?!
So Hubster and I are going to go for a long walk and hopefully get some kind of contractions started. But those contractions will probably end up stopping, just like they have every other time this month.
I’m not patient. Hard as I try, I never will be. Baby C, spare me the insanity and please come out to meet us!
About a year ago when Hubster wanted to get an exercise ball, I was against it. I pictured this big ol’ ball taking up what precious little floor space we had. I pictured it sitting there collecting dust because neither of us would ever use it.
Then I got pregnant.
Toward the end of my second trimester when the aches and pains starting to really set in, I begged him to pull that deflated exercise ball (which, I was correct, had never been used) out of the closet and pump some life into it. I had heard the benefits of an exercise ball for labor (aka a birthing ball). If it helped ease pain in labor, it had to help during pregnancy, right?!
It. Is. Wonderful.
I bounce on that thing almost every day. Unlike sitting in a chair, laying down or standing, the exercise ball takes all pressure off of my lower back and pelvis. Last night, I think it saved me from a trip to labor & delivery. Cramping and back pain set in and my doctor suggested that it might be the baby’s position on a nerve. If I had an exercise ball, I could move my hips around to try and put baby in a different position. That’s when that little light above my head (you know, the cartoon light that pops on when you have a fabulous idea) sputtered to life. ”Yes, I have an exercise ball!” If the pain didn’t subside, I’d have to take a trip into the hospital to get checked out.
I proceeded to bounce my little heart out on that exercise ball and – alas! – Baby C must have been sitting on a nerve, because the pain started to subside. Hooray!
I strongly recommend an exercise ball for every pregnant woman! Whether you have issues with back pain or just for a strange instance such as the one I had last night, it could save you from popping pills for your pain, suffering in silence, or even from a trip to labor & delivery.
Going back to body image, this is what I have nightmares about before my appointments with my OBGYN: “Little Mama Jama, you gained 10 pounds since your last appointment. That was only four weeks ago. You need to seriously slow it down before you blow up like a big fat balloon!”
And why do I always feel the need to floss right before my gyno appointment?! They sure as heck aren’t looking at my teeth!