And by miss it, I mean I might miss this. A Little. If I ever stop getting excited about not being pregnant long enough to think about this, then maybe I’d miss it.
Maybe.
I might miss having my hand resting nonchalantly on my ginormous baby bump and feeling a tiny little foot rub all the way across my belly. It’s simultaneously the weirdest and coolest thing ever.
Also, when they’re living in your uterus, they don’t cry, scream or whine. So there’s that. 
“Are we just doing the c-section or are we tying your tubes as well?” My OB looked at me with eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer.
“No, just the c-section,” was my baffled reply. I hadn’t even considered that as an option. At that point, I was only 28-ish weeks. I’ve had nearly 10 weeks to think about this and I still don’t know what I want to do.
I really need to make a decision. HELP!
I know that I never want to endure another pregnancy. Ever. Never. I’m honestly not sure I could handle another pregnancy – mentally, emotionally, physically. With the hyperemesis I went through with both pregnancies, and the second one being even worse than the first…I just can’t do it.
On the other hand, I’m 25 years old. Tubal ligation is irreversible. Permanent. Do I want to make that decision at this young of an age?
But I never, ever, EVER want to be pregnant again.
What would you do? Have you had a tubal ligation? What was your experience with it?
I’m busting out of my maternity clothes. My belly is lopsided – Baby Deuce is saying hello to all of you!
How far along? 36 weeks, 1 day
Cravings: Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream, spicy Chinese food
Aversions: All vegetables, eggs, beef
Feeling? I’m so tired! All of the contractions are wearing me out.
What I’m looking forward to: On the plus side, I have three weeks left! Or less! 
What I miss: Being able to stand without experiencing back and hip pain and being able to turn over in bed without getting out of breath!
What was the BEST part of last week? It was a long week, but we had some nice family time over the weekend!
What was the WORST part of last week? I was woken up at 5:15am yesterday – not from one of my own children, but because someone else’s full-grown child was banging on a window and screaming, “GOOD MORNING, VIETNAAAAM!” Um, really. Then the people who live directly above our bedroom decided to have a dance party or something. *sigh* Campus living and family life sometimes don’t mix so well…!
Milestones: Baby Deuce has dropped, and my belly is noticeably much lower! I find myself in a constant state of feeling the need to pee.
Before you laugh, I must tell you that this is a real thing. I only recently heard about it, but yesterday I was told that I have it.
An irritable uterus.
And here I thought I was just an irritable pregnant woman experiencing a ridiculous amount of contractions!
Nope, I have an irritable uterus that apparently contracts with no provocation and the contractions are not making progress toward labor. Considering I’m only 35.5 weeks, that’s probably a good thing; but it’s extremely annoying nonetheless.
Since my preterm labor scare last Thursday, I’ve been experiencing contractions that can be 4 minutes apart for a couple of hours before becoming irregular. I have severe cramping. Most of my contractions take my breath away, and some of them stop me in my tracks – unable to walk or talk (like labor contractions). But no, no progress toward labor here. Just an irritable uterus.
*sigh*
The closer I get to the end of this pregnancy, the stronger my food aversions are getting again. I’m eating more often due to the big ol’ uterus that’s squishing my stomach, but I have very few options of what to eat.
The one thing that always looks good? Cereal. Kix, to be exact. So now I typically have cereal for breakfast, cereal for second lunch (around 2pm) and cereal again for second dinner (before bed).
I think my body might be in for a big shock when I go back to eating wheat-free after having Baby Deuce!
Oops, I forgot to take a picture for this week! The past week has been pretty interesting. I’m starting to wonder if Baby Deuce will be ready earlier than her scheduled date of arrival…
Anyway, this week we get to meet the finalists for the next Mamavation Mom campaign, and I can’t wait to see who they are! Good luck to all of the applicants!
Here’s my update, as I’m now in my 35th week with Baby Deuce:
How far along? 35 weeks
Cravings: Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream
Aversions: All vegetables, eggs, beef
Feeling? On Thursday morning, I experienced two hours of regular contractions that were 4-5 minutes apart and took my breath away. My doctor told me to come in and shortly after I got hooked up to the monitor, the contractions became irregular. At 34.5 weeks, I was happy they became irregular…but at the same time, that always makes me feel a little bit silly when the contractions stop being regular as soon as I get to the doctor! It happened twice with C, but much later (including two days before he was finally born – at 40+ weeks). I continue to have strong, irregular contractions that take my breath away, as well as loads of mild ones.
What I’m looking forward to: Having this baby! I hope she stays put for a couple more weeks, but would welcome her gladly if she wants to come before May 6!
What I miss: Being active in any way without contractions. I can’t even walk to the parking lot without having contractions anymore.
What was the BEST part of last week? Honestly, I don’t know. Last week was kind of rough (see next question).
What was the WORST part of last week? Hubster worked long hours last week while interviewing job candidates, which made it difficult for me to “take it easy,” like the doctor told me to do. C’s been sick for over two weeks and it turns out he has an ear infection. Poor kiddo!
Milestones: There are only four weeks left until my scheduled c-section. I’m working on getting all of the last-minute preparations done for Baby Deuce’s arrival, considering all of the contractions I’m already experiencing.
This post is sponsored by Color Maker & Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women. I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.
How far along? 34 weeks, 1 day
Cravings: Strawberries
Aversions: All vegetables, eggs, beef
Feeling? My depression and anxiety are back, and I’m eager for my long-awaited appointment with my psychiatrist today. I’m also having severe pelvic and pubic bone pain, and a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions.
What I’m looking forward to: One of the cool things about living on campus is the types of educational opportunities that are available. I volunteered C to participate in the language learning lab on campus! Tomorrow is his appointment. Hopefully he cooperates and is a good subject for the students!
What I miss: Being able to move without pain.
What was the BEST part of last week? C went to Nana and Papa’s for a couple of days, so I was able to catch up on some work, get a few full nights of sleep, and Hubster and I were also able to go out on two date nights in a row!
What was the WORST part of last week? Being woken up in the middle of the night by painful contractions, and having a difficult time finding something to wear because my belly is starting to feel whale-like. BUT…my thighs and butt can still fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, so go me.
Milestones: My daily countdown is now in the 30s! We’ll meet little miss Baby Deuce five weeks from today.
I thought it might be fun to look back at all of the weekly updates I made when I was pregnant with C and compare that pregnancy to my current one. It was fun to look at the size of my baby bump as each pregnancy progressed!
I clearly started showing much earlier with Baby Deuce than I did with C!
Which bump do you think was bigger at 24 weeks?
By 32 weeks, I think they evened out; although I might have had a slightly bigger bump with C!
I also think it’s funny that I generally faced the opposite direction for my bump pictures with Baby Deuce! Have you compared your belly pics from different pregnancies?
Note: Loved ones, know that I am safe. My intrusive thoughts do not equate to actions.
Here I go again. Down, down, down the rabbit hole. I wonder how deep it is this time. Probably not as deep as last time, because I know enough to ask for help. But this time I’m plummeting faster. Deeper.
A month ago, I made the appointment to go back on medication. That appointment is April 1. Monday. It seems far away, and it keeps feeling farther away instead of getting closer.
Because I’m falling deeper. Faster.
The intrusive thoughts are there. The rage is back. I recognize their faces this time, and do my best to fight them off. But sickness makes me weaker. The fatigue from this cold makes the demons feel stronger. Darker.
And I keep falling deeper. Faster.
For the first time in my life, I had thoughts of self-harm. Intrusive thoughts, not plans. I’m not going to hurt myself. My thoughts are not my own. I’m held captive by the darkness. But I keep fighting as I fall.
Deeper. Faster.
I called to get an earlier appointment. But it’s never an emergency unless you’re about to commit suicide. Why is that? Why is mental health not an emergency unless physical harm is imminent? I know I need help. I’m falling.
Deeper. Faster.
But I have to wait. Until Monday. So I keep pulling myself up. Looking to the light. Grasping at the tools I was taught last time I was in the rabbit hole.
Until Monday.
I’m going to apologize in advance for getting a little ranty on a Friday morning. I’m just frustrated and need to get this out.
I’m sleep-deprived from being up with C so much at night while he’s sick; I’m miserably sick with a cold of my own; and I’m VERY uncomfortable.
As if the hyperemesis gravidarum and early return of my PPD/A wasn’t enough, it appears that I am now developing SPD. Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction aka severe, excruciating pelvic pain. It’s extremely difficult for me to bend down and lift my legs to get pants on and off. Turning over in bed presents intense pain in my pelvis and down my inner thighs. Getting in and out of a chair hurts. Walking hurts. Doing anything hurts. Sometimes the pain in my pelvis and pubic bone is so sharp and severe that I cannot walk.
I have 6.5 weeks left until this baby comes. Quite frankly, I’m frustrated. I’m jealous of those women that have wonderful pregnancies, enjoy being pregnant, look like they’re glowing with happiness. I just want that for a day. Okay, so I want my whole pregnancy to be like that – but I’d settle for one day of it. I wish this didn’t have to be so freaking hard.
Yes, I do know I am fortunate to have two children. I’m grateful for that. I just wish my body didn’t suck so bad at pregnancy.
How far along? 32 weeks, 1 day
Cravings: Shortbread Girl Scout Cookies
Aversions: Lots
Feeling? Tired, and apparently it’s obvious. I don’t remember Hubster telling me I was crabby while pregnant with C, but yesterday he told me he’d talk to me after my nap when I wouldn’t be crabby. Oops!
What I’m looking forward to: There are exactly 7 weeks left until Baby Deuce arrives! 49 days!
What I miss: Vegetables, long walks outside in temperatures above freezing.
What was the BEST part of last week? We went to visit Hubster’s family on Saturday, and we picked out a bunch of C’s cousins’ clothes for Baby Deuce to borrow! It was good to see them, especially considering I don’t think I’ll be game for another 4-hour round trip before Baby Deuce arrives. We’re also so thankful they’re loaning us baby clothes!
What was the WORST part of last week? Hubster had his stent removed from his bile duct on Friday. This was actually a really good thing, because everything looks clear now and this whole gallbladder thing should be behind him now!
Milestones: 49 Days Left! When I put it that way, it seems manageable now. I cannot wait to trade this hyperemesis in for a BABY.
Do I look tired?!
How far along? 30 weeks, 2 days
Cravings: Nothing in particular, but I have been consuming a lot of Chobani. Peach and strawberry banana are my two favorites right now.
Aversions: We’re just going to skip this one, because the list would be long and obnoxious.
Feeling? Tired. Large. I go back and forth between thinking, “Whoa, we’re going to have another CHILD here in just 9 weeks!” and thinking, “OMG NINE LONG WEEKS, I’M NEVER GOING TO SURVIVE UNTIL THEN!”
What I’m looking forward to: Sunshine, walks outdoors with my kiddos, feeling less like a balloon and more like a human.
What I miss: Vegetables, being able to turn over in bed without getting out of breath, working out.
What was the BEST part of last week? While Hubster was away at a hiring conference for work, my mom came to visit and help me out with C. It was such a huge help, because I’m so darn tired these days!
What was the WORST part of last week? Hubster was super busy last week and we barely saw him. I’m excited that things are settling down a little bit at work for him this week, so we should be able to spend a little more time with him.
Milestones: My c-section is scheduled for May 6th at 7:00am, which is precisely one week after C’s birthday and, coincidentally, he was born at 7:11am. I wonder how close to being exactly one week apart these two will be!
Our 30-week picture attempt fail!