On Having a Little Hope and Preparing for Baby Jo’s Autism Evaluation

I was starting to feel desperate last week regarding my experience tapering off my antidepressant. Thankfully, I have received a bit of direction from my family doctor. I would have preferred to begin a new medication to slowly replace what I am tapering from, but that looks like it is not an option since I don’t have a psychiatrist. It’s a relief that I have a little hope now that I’m not navigating this process on my own, though. I’m currently on 5 mg of escitalopram and my symptoms are not quite as severe.

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On complete frustration with mental health care.

Today I went from elation and relief to a minor breakdown to feeling alienated and alone.

About two years ago when I had successfully tapered off antidepressants after my second round of postpartum mood disorders, my psychiatrist told me that he was moving to the east coast for a teaching position. That is precisely how I ended up seeing my primary care physician about my current depression. Last week I ended up in the ER because of an adverse drug reaction to generic Lexapro (escitalopram).

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I’ve Still Got a Lot of Fight Left in Me

I've Still Got a Lot of Fight Left in Me

There is nothing better than squeezing these little faces after a tough day. Tears fell just before I snagged that picture last night. I spent yesterday morning in a hospital bed. The official diagnosis is an adverse drug reaction to generic Lexapro, but that doesn’t seem to properly classify what I’m feeling. I’ll detail my symptoms below for anyone who is going through something similar. I know I was scouring the Internet on Wednesday night to find out if anyone had the same effects from escitalopram (Lexapro) that I have. I feel a little defeated and a lot tired, but you know what? I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.

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The Time I Left My Psychiatrist’s Office More Depressed Than When I Went In

I finally, finally had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. The office kept scheduling me for days he had off. I was originally supposed to see him in October. Ha! Anyway, I’ve been wanting to get off of Zoloft. Baby Jo is nearly 10 months old and I’m feeling like I’d be perfectly stable without the meds I started when I was 34 weeks pregnant with her. It’s also been making me gain weight like none other and I am DONE with that business.

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