After many months of fighting a postpartum mood disorder and having my antidepressant turn me into a human inflatable, I am very excited to announce that I am starting the She Sweats Summer Challenge through He and She Eat Clean! The Summer Challenge is 16 weeks long. I’ll start with the She Sweats 12-Week Transformation and follow it with the Extreme 4-Week Shred.
Here we go, here we go! Down to zero!
After working with my psychiatrist to taper off of my antidepressant, I finally went down to zero again last week. I anticipated the withdrawal and am relieved to report that it has been much easier than last time, when I came off of Effexor. That doesn’t mean it has been easy.
I finally, finally had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. The office kept scheduling me for days he had off. I was originally supposed to see him in October. Ha! Anyway, I’ve been wanting to get off of Zoloft. Baby Jo is nearly 10 months old and I’m feeling like I’d be perfectly stable without the meds I started when I was 34 weeks pregnant with her. It’s also been making me gain weight like none other and I am DONE with that business.
I make no secret of the fact that I took antidepressants for PPD/PPA/PPOCD when C was a baby, and I chose to start them again at the end of my pregnancy with Baby Jo. There’s a dark side to my experience with them that I haven’t shared before, because it’s caused me much frustration and embarrassment. This second time around, one of my side effects has been weight gain.
I know that some people don’t believe in psychotropic medication, and some may believe stigma about the people that take them. I really hate stigma and that’s why I’m an open book about my mental health. Quite frankly, I would be lost right now without antidepressants.
I’m not talking about my chest. Though, my baby did steal my breasts. But that’s a story for a different day…
When you’re really stressed, do you ever feel the need to just have a good, cathartic cry? The occasional good cry has always been a stress release for me. I’d really like to have one of those right about now with all that is going on with C. There’s only one problem: I can’t.
My second pregnancy brought about a lot of decisions that I needed to make. Considering my history of postpartum depression, emergency cesarean and hyperemesis, there were some difficult choices I had to make.
Taking Antidepressants as a Precaution
This time around, I was under the care of a psychiatrist. I wanted to seek out the advice of someone whose sole focus was psychotropic medication. After the horrific experience I had coming off of the last antidepressant, which was prescribed by the nurse practitioner in my former OBGYN clinic, I wasn’t going to take any chances.
I’m going to be honest with you all. I’m nervous.
I battled intrusive thoughts in the postpartum period with C, and I didn’t even know what they were for a long time. I didn’t know that intrusive thoughts didn’t mean that I was going crazy until some of them were so bad that I could no longer cook with knives and was afraid to be behind the wheel of my car.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
-Isaiah 41:10 NIV
My strength is being tested. Withdrawal has me reeling.
I am so thankful for family. I’m so thankful that we no longer live six hours away.
Monday, August 27th is the start of Mamavation Mom Campaign 13! Join us at 8pm EST for a 2-hr Twitter party to celebrate the beginning of the campaign. The next Mamavation Moms will be announced at the Twitter party!
I’m excited for all of the finalists and can’t wait to find out who will be the next Mamavation Moms!