Tag Archives: family decisions

Plans Change…

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For several months, we were uber excited to have NYE plans with some of our bestest of friends.  It would be about 5 months since we’d last seen them, and the hubster and I have no plans to make the long haul back to visit before the baby is born…so it would probably be another 6 months before we would see them again. :(

Then NYE got closer and the weather report came out.  Why on earth would it warm up so much that we would get rain?!  It is DECEMBER 31st for heaven’s sake.  So there it is – dense fog due to the warm air over the melting snow cover.

If it had just been the hubster and me, we would have made the trip while checking on the road conditions as we traveled.  I feel terrible not making the trip to see them, both because we really were looking forward to some quality fun time with them and because my friend had so sweetly planned an elaborate dinner menu.  But this morning, as our baby was kicking around in my belly, I knew that if anything were to happen I would never be able to forgive myself.

After all, this summer my doctor told me that we would have a difficult time conceiving when it came time for us to start a family.  Even though that part of our lives was about five years into our planned future, I was devastated.  The month before, we had just celebrated our first anniversary and my 23rd birthday…and now I found out we’d possibly never have children.  The next month I found out I was pregnant.

It is no small miracle that we’re expecting our little boy; and while it took me the entire first trimester to outgrow the shock of the situation, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  It’s funny how life surprises you. Less than 10 years ago, I thought I’d be this big-shot career woman who would never even want children.  Now I’m going to be a stay-at-home mom in just a few months.

So even though we’re both devastated that we won’t be able to spend tonight with dear, fun friends, I am also thankful for the reason we made this decision.  And we’ll get to see our friends tomorrow – so it will just be a postponement of one day :)

Daycare Costs

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Yesterday I did some research that many moms-to-be likely do: how much will daycare cost if I go back to work once the baby is born?

Unlike some moms-to-be, I don’t currently have a job that I can go back to after maternity leave.  I lost my job as a by-product of my miserable morning sickness for the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy.  As a graduate assistant, I had to keep six credits of classes in order to keep my job.  Too sick with the dry heaves and intense nausea to sit through class, I had to drop two of my three classes due to attendance policies.  I couldn’t keep my job.  It was a very tough thing to have to withdraw from school and lose my job, but I’m so relieved now in retrospect.  There was no way I could have kept up with it all.  Trying to stay healthy during that period of time was a job in itself.  Looking forward to my third trimester, I can’t imagine having to waddle across campus to my old office.  It was really far away.

I feel well enough at the moment that I could probably work.  The problem is that, in this economy, no one would hire a visibly pregnant woman when they would have numerous other candidates that could  fulfill those same job responsibilities.

The hubster and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to work before having the baby, but it was still up for debate whether I would go back afterward.  The average costs of daycare, however, are so high and the job market in our area so poor that I would probably end up working full time only to bring home about $50-100 per week.  That would be just enough to pay for gas, work clothes, etc.  Not worth it!

While I would love to go back to work to earn money for our family to live more comfortably, I can’t imagine leaving my little boy in the care of strangers to work in a job that I would possibly hate in order to bring home $50 or less (after expenses) per week.  I guess I’ll be staying home with him for at least the first year.  After that, the hubster will be finished with graduate school and we’ll be moving to a different area where he’ll be starting a full-time position.  At that point in time, maybe going to work would be worth it.  I just can’t believe that daycare is so expensive compared to wages – and how poor the local economy is!