Hubster and I snuck away for a few days of vacation without the kids. Baby Jo stayed with my in-laws, while C spent time with my parents. They missed each other a lot and it was so sweet to see their reunion tonight. C was jumping up and down, squealing with excitement. He kept kissing and hugging his baby sister and on the ride home, this happened.
I’ve been feeling bad about myself lately (stupid Zoloft). What we need to remember is that our loved ones will love us no matter what.
I’m up really early this morning. C climbed into bed with us at 5am and wouldn’t stop rubbing my face. So after he fell back asleep I got up and went to my laptop. Opened it up to see this video that Hubster put together for me when I went to bed early last night. He’s the greatest.
These two crack me up. Here are C and Baby Jo making each other laugh, like they often do. Hope this makes you smile!
When I became a mother about five years earlier than my life plan allowed for, I was unsure what to expect. I knew I’d be in love with my sweet baby boy. I knew my life would change dramatically. Life would no longer be about Hubster and me – it would be about our family of three. Even one year ago, I didn’t realize how motherhood would stretch me in ways I never thought I was capable.
Do you ever look through your old pictures on Facebook? I was doing that tonight and came across some pictures of Hubster and me that made me feel all kinds of sentimental. So I thought I’d share some of them with you and tell you how we met, because in the past three years I don’t think I’ve ever done that!
I’m crazy about my little boy. He does this sweet thing where he puts his hands on my face, and pulls my face close to his for kisses or snuggles. It melts my heart in ways I can’t describe.
Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from our trip. He’s the best.
I usually take the path less traveled, and my journey to motherhood was no different. If you’re not familiar with my story, I’ll give you the abridged version. In July 2010, I was told I had PCOS (polycystic ovaries) and it would be difficult for me to conceive children. In August, I started graduate school and a graduate assistantship only to find out a week later that – surprise! – I was pregnant. I ended up with hyperemesis and was so ill that I could hardly leave our apartment. In early October, I was forced to withdraw from graduate school, thereby losing my job as well. I spent the majority of April 2011 experiencing false labor, and then after 2.5 hours of pushing I ended up with an emergency c-section on April 29. A long, slow spiral into postpartum depression ensued, but wasn’t diagnosed until December 2011.
Last night, we celebrated my friend’s bachelorette party and it was a blast! I’ve known L and her fiance, J, since college. J was Hubster’s roommate for two years, before they both got involved in residence life. L, J, Hubster and I used to have a couple’s night about once per week. It was so much fun, and we all became very good friends. L and J are one of the few non-blood-relatives in my life that I know would be there for me no matter what. Life could take a million big shits on my face and they’d still be hanging around with their noses plugged.
If Hubster and I hadn’t met in college, where would we be now? It’s a question we were pondering yesterday as we marked five years since we officially started dating.
We decided that neither of us would have broken off our prior relationships, because we wouldn’t have met each other and realized how much we “clicked” with someone else. I would have been in a terribly mismatched marriage, that would likely have ended very badly. Hubster would have ended up in an equally loveless marriage.
Life is starting to feel good again. Not all the time, but I’ll take even a moment of it. My body is finally adjusting to the increased dosage of antidepressant that my doctor prescribed three weeks ago for my PPD. I’m starting to feel a lot of joy – but it’s tinged with guilt.
What parent doesn’t love those sloppy, open-mouthed baby kisses?! Oh, they’re just the best. So sweet and filled with so much love. C first started giving kisses a couple of months ago, but he’s been stingy with them lately. After feeling rather sad about not getting one of his baby kisses in a while, he totally made up for it. My sweet boy gave me a bunch of the best baby kisses today.
C was chowing down on his rice cereal when he let out a gigantic burp. He raised his eyebrows and started giggling. It was the first time he laughed at himself. His hearty laughter made me start laughing. We just looked at each other and laughed harder and harder. These are the moments that make all the sleepless nights worth it.
It was one year ago today that I woke up at 6am and decided to take a pregnancy test. I was about to join a boot camp fitness team with three other grad students. I hadn’t been feeling quite right and my period was late (although with PCOS, the latter part was not abnormal), so I thought I would make sure that I wasn’t pregnant before I spent $75 on boot camp.
An open letter to Hubster:
Two years ago, I married my best friend. Cliche, I know – but it’s true. We had the super fun wedding we dreamed about, including our own evolution of wedding dance that we surprised our family and friends with. The weather was perfect, the toasts were heartfelt and we were surrounded by so much love. It was a wonderful day.
Happy Mothers’ Day to all the fabulous moms out there! I’d like to give a special shout-out to the new and expecting moms – congrats!
Hope your day is filled with love.
I think there are going to be many challenges to having a baby in a one-bedroom apartment through its first year of life. We have relatively large bedroom furniture, but decided that our bedroom is the only place for the baby to go. When it’s super little, we’d have to cook/watch tv/make phone calls/etc very quietly in order to provide a calm sleeping environment in the living room and kitchen area (it’s an open, connected area). When the baby gets bigger, it would be way too easily distracted by us out here to get to sleep. If he or she is in our bedroom, at least we’ll have a door to close so that we can go on with our daily routines while they’re sleeping. But…that also means no privacy for a year. Interesting trade-off. :-p