Three years ago today, Hubster and I were joined for life. I love you, dear! Here’s a quick summary of that beautiful day in pictures.
Last night, we celebrated my friend’s bachelorette party and it was a blast! I’ve known L and her fiance, J, since college. J was Hubster’s roommate for two years, before they both got involved in residence life. L, J, Hubster and I used to have a couple’s night about once per week. It was so much fun, and we all became very good friends. L and J are one of the few non-blood-relatives in my life that I know would be there for me no matter what. Life could take a million big shits on my face and they’d still be hanging around with their noses plugged.
I love them like I love my own family. There are no words to describe how happy I am for them and how excited I am to be a part of their big day as a bridesmaid.
We’ve lived out of state for a long time, and last night it was so amazing to be with friends who still called me by my nickname (my initials with my maiden name). It feels like they’ve known me forever. They knew me before I lost my ability to trust. They knew me before I was a wife. They knew me before I was a mom. They knew me before mental illness changed me. They know me and love me for me, and there’s nothing in the world greater than friends who are there through it all.
Congratulations to L and J. May your lives be filled with love forever.
If Hubster and I hadn’t met in college, where would we be now? It’s a question we were pondering yesterday as we marked five years since we officially started dating.
We decided that neither of us would have broken off our prior relationships, because we wouldn’t have met each other and realized how much we “clicked” with someone else. I would have been in a terribly mismatched marriage, that would likely have ended very badly. Hubster would have ended up in an equally loveless marriage.
We would have ended up divorced at a relatively young age. During a chance meeting at the office of the divorce attorney that happened to represent both of us, we would have enchanted each other.
We would have fallen in love anyway, because sometimes people are just meant to be.
Me: Can we hang out together tonight?
Hubster: What do you want to do?
Me: Nothing really. I’d just like to dwell in the same room with you when we’re not asleep.
You know your spouse has been super busy lately when your idea of hanging out together is simply to dwell in the same room!
Hubster is in the midst of his final five weeks of graduate school, as well as a job search. He’s also been experiencing numerous situations at work that need resolving, and require more attention than usual. All of that has kept him extremely busy recently, and I don’t expect things to slow down until after graduation. One awesome thing about having a live-in position is that C and I get to see Hubster when he pops home for lunch.
I’m eager for the quality family time that we’ll have in the time period between graduation and moving. We’re planning a small vacation, C’s first trip to the zoo, and simply dwelling as a family.
Here’s a throwback picture of Hubster and me, from 2007. We’ve been best friends since not long after we met. We’ve always loved dwelling together. I love you, Hubster. C and I are proud of you and cheering you to the finish line!
I got 11 – ELEVEN!! – hours of sleep last night! It was absolutely divine and for the first time since before I had C, I actually feel well-rested. I have energy and feel like myself again. In fact, Hubster would tell you that I’m playing it fast and loose with the weird life commentary, sound effects and laughter today. (Doesn’t he remember that’s just my personality?)
Since C’s staying with my parents, Hubster and I are super excited about sleeping through the night. C still wakes up 1-2 times per night.
Hubster and I both had the chance to work out today before we went on a date. He’s been wanting to see Wanderlust, so we went to a matinee before going out to dinner. When we came out of the movie theatre, the guy next to me opened the car door for his lady. Meanwhile, Hubster got in our car and I was pounding on the window for him to unlock my door. *sigh* Ah, marriage…
It was one year ago today that I woke up at 6am and decided to take a pregnancy test. I was about to join a boot camp fitness team with three other grad students. I hadn’t been feeling quite right and my period was late (although with PCOS, the latter part was not abnormal), so I thought I would make sure that I wasn’t pregnant before I spent $75 on boot camp.
Taking the test was more of a formality for me. I really didn’t expect to be pregnant. A month before, I had been diagnosed with PCOS and was told that it would be difficult for me to conceive.
I remember getting impatient waiting for the results. It was pretty early and I really wanted to go back to bed. Then that second pink line started to appear. Uh-oh. It was very faint. What does this mean?! I frantically looked at the instructions, only to find what I already suspected. ANY second line, faint or not, means you’re pregnant, honey. OH. MY. DEAR. LORD.
I bounded out of the bathroom yelling Hubster’s name. He was still asleep, so my frantic yells for him were a bit startling. ”WHAT?!”
“Look at this. There’s two lines. I just took the pregnancy test and there’s two lines. What does that mean?!”
Hubster walked into the bathroom to look at the test. ”Well, it says here that if there’s two lines then you’re pregnant.” I met his words with a look of shock and horror. Much to my dismay, Hubster walked back to bed and was about to go back to sleep.
Me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
Hubster: “Well, you’re pregnant. I might as well get some sleep.”
Me: “WHAT??!?!” Seeing that he really intended to go back to sleep even though I just discovered that I was PREGNANT, I got a bit upset. ”We’re not going to talk about this?”
Hubster: “What’s there to talk about? You’re pregnant.”
Even though Hubster was very nonchalant at first, we both had to make huge emotional adjustments over the next few months as we came to terms with how our lives were about to change in a way that we didn’t anticipate happening for several years. We were both 23 and had just moved to a new state, where Hubster was starting a live-in graduate assistantship. We had both just finished our first week of graduate school, where we were in the same program and classes. I wasn’t thrilled about my graduate assistantship and was hesitant about starting graduate school, but I was super excited about us graduating with our Master’s degrees together. It was such a fun thought that filled me with pride and excitement. We were planning on starting a family after we both worked in our professional positions for a couple of years. This was not at all in the plan.
I would venture to say that I had a much more difficult adjustment than Hubster did. Between weeks 5-14, I had the most terrible morning sickness that ended up being diagnosed as hyperemesis. I only vomited once, but I dry heaved so much that I spent the majority of my day hovering over the toilet or a bucket. It was nearly impossible to eat or drink anything. I was forced to drop a class that was heavily attendance-based. Unable to pick up another class, I had to withdraw from school. That also ended my graduate assistantship. Within six weeks, I went from starting a new job and grad school to being constantly ill and not having any school or work. That was really rough. It wasn’t until week 14 of my pregnancy that the doctor found something to help me, Zofran. I really wish I had found it sooner!
Regardless of how difficult our journey has been this past year, I am now blessed with this beautiful, complex, wonderful child that fills me with joy (and despair at times!). I’m a stay-at-home mom a few years earlier than I thought I would be. But C is here now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And now I get to look at this sweet little face every day:
I have to spend a couple minutes bragging up Hubster. He’s pretty much been awesome throughout my pregnancy, but the last couple days he has been extra awesome. Yesterday, he did all of our dishes AND gave me a reflexology foot massage to hopefully induce labor. He looked it up on Youtube and tried it out. So sweet.
Today, he went to the drugstore for me and picked up some Robitussin DM, the only cough medicine on the “safe list” from my OBGYN office. My cough and sore throat has turned into something reminiscent of a hacking smoker’s cough. It’s awful and makes my abs hurt terribly. I don’t want to be sick when we meet our baby!
So I had to share how awesome he is. Love him!
Did you have one moment where it hit you like a ton of bricks – the realization that you’re going to be responsible for a whole other little person? For life?!
I feel like I’ve had multiple mini-moments like that, but yesterday it hit me a little bit harder than normal. Like WHOA. I don’t think that I’ll fully understand what that responsibility and life change will feel like or really mean until we’re actually holding our baby in our arms. At the same time, though, it’s so strange to think about how our life will be changing forever.
Hubster and I went to see The King’s Speech yesterday (awesome movie, by the way – we highly recommend it!). While we used to go to the movies all the time, in the past year I could probably count on one hand how many we’ve seen. So it was pretty cool that we had a date day. The previews were rolling and I was having some issues getting comfortable. You know, with this big ol’ mass of baby protruding from my belly, comfort is hard to come by these days. Anyway, that’s when it hit me.
That was probably the last movie we would ever go to in our entire lives without needing to find a babysitter. And what does that even mean?! I used to BE a babysitter. I still can’t really picture myself needing to HIRE a babysitter. Gone are the days of spur-of-the-moment dinners out, trips to the city, weekend vacations….pretty much anything involving spontaneity and dates. How weird is that?!
Hubster and I have always been pretty spontaneous folks. I am definitely a planner, but when it comes to just the two of us doing fun stuff, we’re pretty “fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants.” It’s so strange to think how a little man is going to change our lives so much in such a short time. And there it is… holy crap – we’re going to be parents!
What was your moment or mini-moment?
Today, I had an awesome yet supremely rare opportunity to spend the entire day with my hubster. It was fantastic.
While thinking about how wonderful it was to be spending quality time together, it occurred to me that today was the first day he took off of work since we were visiting family during the holidays. I’m so proud and appreciative of him and how hard he works to provide for our growing family. While he’s extremely dedicated to excelling in school and his job, I’m going to start encouraging him to take more time to relax for both his own sanity and for us. I mean, one day off in two months?! The man needs a break!
Next weekend we’re taking our last mini-vacation before the baby is born, and I cannot wait. It will be so nice to get away and have a whole weekend just to be together without any work, school, or daily routines getting in the way. I think the hardest part about his job is that even when he comes home, he’s still AT work (his field is Residential Life). Getting out of town will be splendid.
What a fabulous day. Looking forward to some more “us” time tonight when we cuddle up at home and watch a movie.
Happy weekend, everyone!