Postpartum Progress held its inaugural Climb Out of the Darkness walk on June 21. I wasn’t able to walk that day, but it’s better late than never, right?
That’s kind of how my road to healing from my postpartum mood disorder went. C was born in April 2011 and I wasn’t diagnosed until December. But, asking for help? Better late than never.
On July 1, on a beautiful, sunny day, I put Baby Jo in the Ergo, C climbed into the BOB and we headed out on the trail. I could have done my usual 3-3.5 miles, but I wanted to push harder. I wanted to honor that woman inside me, who clawed her way out of the dark hole that threatened to consume her.
So as the warmth of wearing Baby Jo caused sweat to drip down my chest, and as the muscle fatigue set in from pushing C uphill while babywearing…I climbed onward and completed the full 4+ mile loop.
Because that woman inside me never gave up.
I reveled in the natural beauty of the trail as the birds sang and a chipmunk rustled in the nearby underbrush. I peeked at C, asleep in the stroller. My sweet boy, for whom I fought PPD and PPA. I looked down at Baby Jo, sleeping peacefully against me. That darling girl, for whom I fought antenatal depression and intrusive thoughts. I looked up at the glistening sun. The white, puffy clouds contrasted with the radiant blue sky. And that’s when I thought of all the warrior moms who have fought this battle. Fight on, mamas. The sun will shine again.