Tag Archives: residence hall living

Saying Goodbye to House Envy {No More Perfect Moms}

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We live in an apartment in a residence hall on the university campus where Hubster works.  It comes with the territory of him working in residence life, and I completely knew that and was okay with it when we got married.  I totally support this part of his career and know that he won’t always be in a live-on position.

All of that being said, I often get house envy.  Many of our friends have purchased homes or are at the stage of life where they are looking at purchasing their own home.  Sometimes, I get really jealous.  It usually happens when I’m woken up in the middle of the night by the girl that lives above our bedroom (she has the tendency to stomp so hard that our windows rattle).  Or when our internet gets bogged down by all of the students who are also using it at the same time I’m trying to.  Or when it’s 10 degrees outside and I’m trying to juggle C and 5 bags of groceries from the parking lot, along the sidewalk, all the way to our building.

It’s in those moments when I find myself thinking, “If only I had a house.  It would be so much easier if I just had a garage.  I wouldn’t be woken up in the middle of the night if we didn’t have people living above us anymore.”

In Jill Savage’s book, No More Perfect Moms, she devotes an entire chapter to “No More Perfect Homes.”  There was one section in particular that really bonked me over the head with a reality check.  She addresses house envy – how we always compare what we have (and don’t have) to what others have.  She challenged me with this:

“How can you embrace the real living arrangements you have instead of wanting something different?” (p.159)

Wow!  Okay, Jill.  Challenge accepted. ;)

Here are the positive parts of our residence hall apartment:

  • I don’t have to worry about maintenance.  If something goes wrong, facilities staff come in to fix it for us – and I’ve noticed they’re especially good with timely repairs for professional staff!
  • We don’t have a mortgage payment or utility bills.  The apartment is part of Hubster’s compensation package.
  • We don’t have a yard to take care of.  No lawn mowing for us, and no shoveling snow either!
  • C gets to grow up in an environment with a high value of education.  He gets the opportunity to meet a diverse group of people.
  • I don’t have that much to clean.  We live in a modest, 3-bedroom apartment.  While it’s a HUGE upgrade from our 1-bedroom apartment that we had during grad school, it’s still not an entire house to clean!

Yes, I could only come up with five positive points…but I’m working on it!  Jill’s No More Perfect Moms is challenging me to accept myself, my family and our life more completely.  Things may not be perfect, but no one has a perfect life. :)

I am a member of the No More Perfect Moms launch team.  No More Perfect Moms will be released on February 4th and will be available from your favorite bookstore.  If you order or purchase the book during the week of February 4-9, you will be electronically sent free bonuses including e-books, audio workshops and more!

My Biggest Pet Peeve

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Ugh…there are many pet peeves associated with living on a university campus.  Hubster’s a residence hall director, so our apartment is located within a residence hall.  Even though I’m 24, I often feel extremely old because I’m constantly surrounded by people mostly in the 18-22 range.

There’s the little annoyances, like internet outages or smelling burned food from the adjacent dining facility.  Hiking to the parking lot in winter is a real treat, especially now with a baby in tow.  Hearing students go up and down the adjacent staircase like a herd of elephants is real special.  Middle-of-the-night fire alarms anger me…because: 1) it seems that there’s always more alarms that follow in the same night, and 2) the fact that students decide to take up all the space on benches to make a pregnant lady (and now, a lady with a baby) stand is beyond me.

But I think the biggest annoyance that I have, the one thing that irks me to no end, is having to listen to people LOUDLY have private conversations – often arguments – on their phones.  You see, our apartment is in a hallway that’s a little “off the beaten path.”  People seem to think that it’s an oasis of privacy for their most private, loud, late-at-night arguments and deep conversations.  I often want to whip open my door and say, “You do know I can hear EVERY word of your conversation, right?  And, by the way – you DO know it’s after 11pm, RIGHT?  And, P.S. I have an infant and if you wake him up with your argument over your sex life then I reserve the right to drop-kick you.”

*sigh*  C’est la vie?

Nighttime: An Open Letter to C

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Dearest C,

When you were super little, I very much enjoyed sharing our one bedroom with you.  It was such a comfort to know that you were just a foot away from me.  It was so easy to come to your aid in the middle of the night when you needed one of us.  In the first couple of weeks, when my new maternal instinct was in overdrive and I had to check to make sure you were breathing, I didn’t need to go far.

Fast forward seven months…

You are quite a wild little sleeper.  You like to bring your legs up in the air and slam them down on your mattress.  You move your arms around all the time.  Even though you still have no interest in rolling over, you rarely wake up in the same position that we set you down in.

In short, you’re loud.  You’re also the lightest sleeper I have ever encountered.

When your dad or I enter the room to go to bed, we slowly turn the door handle and silently slip into the room.  Regardless of how stealthily we attempt to be, we disturb your sleep.  I don’t know if you can sense our presence or if we somehow disrupt the airflow of your sleeping radius.  If we’re really lucky, you go back to sleep.  But 90% of the time, you completely wake up just as I am drifting off to sleep.  You wake up crying.  Did I mention you’re a loud little person?  Then we need to get out of bed, make you a bottle, feed you, put you back to bed, shut the door and cross our fingers that you fall asleep very quickly so that we can begin the process anew.

This entire process has become so troublesome that your father and I have contemplated moving our bed into the living room.  The living room, C!  Do you know what that would mean?  If someone came to our door, the first thing that they would see is our bed.  *sigh*

Raising you in a residence hall environment certainly has its pros and cons.  I’m filing this under the “cons” and counting the days until your dad graduates and we can move on to a larger apartment.

Love,
Your tired mother, who wishes you were a heavier sleeper :)

Living in a Small Space With a Baby

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If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you may know that our family of three lives in quite a small space.  I’ve blogged about the challenges of small spaces and products that make life easier.  This post on BabyCenter by blogger Sabrina Garibian was recently brought to my attention.  She talks about living in a small space – but! – her family of three lives in a two-bedroom condo.  Two bedrooms!

That’s when I realized the definition of a “small space” is relative.  While this blogger considers her family “the definition of living in a small space,” I respectfully disagree.  I would love to have two bedrooms.  Can I say that again?  LOVE.

What would I consider the definition of living in a small space?  Muffling the sound of your sneeze by directing it into your own pillow, so that your baby who sleeps one foot away from you won’t be startled awake.

A corner filled with diapers, toys, my workout gear and a bin of C's old clothes.

Why don’t we just move to a bigger place, you ask?  If only it were that simple.  Hubster works in university housing and his job requires a live-in position.  Until he’s finished with graduate school in May and moves on to a professional live-in position (typically accompanied by two-bedroom apartments), we have to make it work.  Although our space is very small for three people, it is nice.  I love our kitchen, dishwasher and laundry machines.  There are some definite pros, but I’m not going to say that sharing a one-bedroom apartment with our 6-month-old son is easy.

Everything we have in our apartment has a purpose.  It has to.  It’s awkward practically begging our family not to give C toys or more clothes for Christmas.  We only have space for practical things.  Toys and baby items are scattered on our living room floor.  There are stacks of grad school books and diaper boxes teetering in corners.  I dread the baby proofing that I need to do soon.

We’ve become super practical and I try not to complain about our lack of space.  I know that there are families bigger than ours that probably have tighter living quarters – or none at all.

The bottom line is: be grateful for what you have.  There is always someone out there who has less.