Tag Archives: work

To Dwell

(yesterday afternoon)
Me: Can we hang out together tonight?
Hubster: What do you want to do?
Me: Nothing really. I’d just like to dwell in the same room with you when we’re not asleep.

You know your spouse has been super busy lately when your idea of hanging out together is simply to dwell in the same room!

Hubster is in the midst of his final five weeks of graduate school, as well as a job search. He’s also been experiencing numerous situations at work that need resolving, and require more attention than usual. All of that has kept him extremely busy recently, and I don’t expect things to slow down until after graduation. One awesome thing about having a live-in position is that C and I get to see Hubster when he pops home for lunch.

I’m eager for the quality family time that we’ll have in the time period between graduation and moving. We’re planning a small vacation, C’s first trip to the zoo, and simply dwelling as a family.

Here’s a throwback picture of Hubster and me, from 2007. We’ve been best friends since not long after we met. We’ve always loved dwelling together. I love you, Hubster. C and I are proud of you and cheering you to the finish line!

Am I Stay-At-Home Mom Material?

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Courtesy of babble.com

We’ve all seen supermom. She effortlessly drives around town in her minivan, escorting her children to all of their extracurricular activities. Dressed in school colors, she claps wildly at her kids’ sporting events. She bakes elaborate snacks and her house is always spotless. She has time to do her hair every morning and never wears yoga pants unless she’s working out.

I’m most definitely not supermom. I have no idea how supermom operates, but I’d welcome her into my home to provide me with a tutorial on life. Lately, I’ve been starting to wonder if I really have what it takes to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM).

While I thrive off of interactions with people, I’ve always been an introvert who needs some time alone to recharge. I cannot be with anyone 24/7…even my own child.

In the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that even my flesh and blood is not immune to my need to be alone. I’ve had to spend a lot of solo time with C in the past few weeks while Hubster worked some long hours and attended two conferences. A heaping dose of mom guilt comes along with realizing that you’re not capable of sanely taking care of your child every second. I’m going to compare being a SAHM to having a job, though I do see it as both an occupation and a privilege.

When I worked outside of the home, I had lunch breaks. If I got really sick, I took a sick day. When I had to use the bathroom, I did so without my boss crying because I left my desk. I went home at the end of the day to do whatever I chose to do. Each night, I slept without being interrupted by my boss.

I miss those moments of alone time! That time to just take care of yourself and just “be.” I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a SAHM long-term. I know that I will continue until we move next summer. Perhaps by then I will figure out how to be a SAHM and not lose my identity (and sanity!) in the process. I’ve been told by other SAHMs that the first year was very difficult. I’m learning that in order to be a good mother and wife, I need to get away. Hubster has agreed to let me get out once or twice a week for a few hours of “me time,” and I am so glad.

How do you handle being a SAHM?

It’s August?!

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I simply cannot believe that it’s August 1st. Where did the time go?!

It feels like summer is completely over for us. Hubster’s fall training is in full swing and has been for about two weeks already. His grad classes will begin again in a few weeks. It’s crazy how fast time goes! It was slightly over a year ago that we moved here, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it was that long ago. So much has changed since then!

Instead of preparing to start my own graduate program and assistantship, I am now a stay-at-home mom. How crazy is that?!

You never know what life is going to throw your way.

Hubby Time

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Today, I had an awesome yet supremely rare opportunity to spend the entire day with my hubster. It was fantastic.

While thinking about how wonderful it was to be spending quality time together, it occurred to me that today was the first day he took off of work since we were visiting family during the holidays. I’m so proud and appreciative of him and how hard he works to provide for our growing family. While he’s extremely dedicated to excelling in school and his job, I’m going to start encouraging him to take more time to relax for both his own sanity and for us. I mean, one day off in two months?! The man needs a break!

Next weekend we’re taking our last mini-vacation before the baby is born, and I cannot wait. It will be so nice to get away and have a whole weekend just to be together without any work, school, or daily routines getting in the way. I think the hardest part about his job is that even when he comes home, he’s still AT work (his field is Residential Life). Getting out of town will be splendid.

What a fabulous day. Looking forward to some more “us” time tonight when we cuddle up at home and watch a movie.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Discrimination

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An Oklahoma official recently questioned a board’s choice to hire a pregnant woman. The poor woman in question, due in April, left the room in tears. Outraged, people are calling for his resignation. I hope he does resign; his words were certainly misogynistic.

Unfortunately, it’s just a very publicized example of why it’s so difficult for a visibly pregnant woman to get hired in an economy filled with job-seekers. It’s the biggest reason why I haven’t even bothered to seek work after losing my job when I was around 14 weeks. Have you had any success stories about being hired while pregnant? Have you faced any discrimination in the workplace?

Weekly Update

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26 weeks

Size of baby: Cucumber (approx. 15 in., 2.2 lbs)

Newly craved food: I indulged in some Cold Stone this week and it was fantastic!

Food aversions: Beef, fried foods

What do you miss: This week I started to miss working in a full-time job, mostly because of the constant social interactions that come along with it. It’s weird being home all of the time, and I’m looking forward to having our baby to keep me busy!

What are you looking forward to: My three pregnancy workout DVDs just arrived and I am excited to try them out! Look for reviews in the upcoming weeks

What was the BEST part of last week? We moved around our furniture in our living room and bedroom. The pack and play is now set up in the bedroom, which is nice but also a little strange since the baby won’t be coming until April! Our living room rearrangement provides for some more floor space and we’re enjoying how much bigger it feels now.

What was the WORST part of last week? Even since taking this picture on Tuesday, I feel like my belly has taken on a life of its own because it looks so huge now. My belly feels so heavy by the end of the day and I am becoming more and more aware of how much my lap is starting to disappear. It’s so strange! But I suppose that may be the reason for my discomfort the past several days.

Daycare Costs

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Yesterday I did some research that many moms-to-be likely do: how much will daycare cost if I go back to work once the baby is born?

Unlike some moms-to-be, I don’t currently have a job that I can go back to after maternity leave. I lost my job as a by-product of my miserable morning sickness for the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy. As a graduate assistant, I had to keep six credits of classes in order to keep my job. Too sick with the dry heaves and intense nausea to sit through class, I had to drop two of my three classes due to attendance policies. I couldn’t keep my job. It was a very tough thing to have to withdraw from school and lose my job, but I’m so relieved now in retrospect. There was no way I could have kept up with it all. Trying to stay healthy during that period of time was a job in itself. Looking forward to my third trimester, I can’t imagine having to waddle across campus to my old office. It was really far away.

I feel well enough at the moment that I could probably work. The problem is that, in this economy, no one would hire a visibly pregnant woman when they would have numerous other candidates that could fulfill those same job responsibilities.

The hubster and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to work before having the baby, but it was still up for debate whether I would go back afterward. The average costs of daycare, however, are so high and the job market in our area so poor that I would probably end up working full time only to bring home about $50-100 per week. That would be just enough to pay for gas, work clothes, etc. Not worth it!

While I would love to go back to work to earn money for our family to live more comfortably, I can’t imagine leaving my little boy in the care of strangers to work in a job that I would possibly hate in order to bring home $50 or less (after expenses) per week. I guess I’ll be staying home with him for at least the first year. After that, the hubster will be finished with graduate school and we’ll be moving to a different area where he’ll be starting a full-time position. At that point in time, maybe going to work would be worth it. I just can’t believe that daycare is so expensive compared to wages – and how poor the local economy is!