Remember that video you and your husband made, singing to your future son right before you went to be induced? I thought of it the other day and smiled. It was quintessentially you. Fun, thoughtful, cute, humorous and creative. I remember seeing the excitement in your eyes as you sang.
My memories of us together are ones from childhood. We wanted to get together as adults and mothers, but we were both too busy. I so wish we had made that time for each other. I wish I had memories of us as adults. I can imagine hearing your laughter join mine as we watch our children play together. I wish I could have given you a hug one more time, or watched your eyes sparkle as you told a joke in a way that only you could.
I can’t imagine the agony you must have experienced for you to leave your loved ones; though I realize you didn’t feel you had a choice at all. I wish I would have known, even though I realize I couldn’t have changed things for you. When I look at my children, I sometimes think of you and yours and my spirit is strengthened as I remember to enjoy the time that we have together. It’s as if you’re telling me to take care of myself, be strong and be present with my children.
We may not have seen each other in years, but you have stayed with me. As kids, we confided in each other and you pushed me to the edges of my social comfort zone, urging me to be more outgoing. As adults, your life is positively changing the way I live mine. You are forever in my heart.